I began playing the UK National Lottery on the very first day. That was on the 19th November 1994 – almost thirty years ago.

(Isn’t that a strange expression, ‘playing’ the lottery? My dictionary defines the word ‘play’ as to ‘engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation … ‘ Does anyone really enjoy the experience without winning? Certainly, any such pleasure must surely be fleeting, with hopes of a large win most often dashed after even just the first ball has been drawn.)

Anyway – like X million others around the country, I was sold on the hype and was convinced I’d be able to jack in my job the following week and spend the rest of my life travelling the world – executive class, of course.

The hope remained high for a year or so, despite winning next to nothing. Indeed, over these twenty-nine years, I’ve had two wins around the £75 mark and several very small successes. I haven’t kept accurate records, but I reckon I’ve won no more than £300 in total.

With the minimum stake rising to £2 a play in 2013, I’ve spent north of £3,000 since The National Lottery’s inception. That equates to a return of 10% on my stake – very roughly.

I’m not a gambler by any means, so I have no idea if that can be considered ‘good,’ but as a tight-arsed Scotsman, I’m more inclined to think of it as a complete waste of money!

So what would I do if my numbers did all come up and I won mega-money?

It would be wonderful, of course, but how much money does one person (or couple) require? My wife cannot understand why the first item on my list wouldn’t be a flash car. I’d be more than happy with a ‘nice’ car, so long as it was reliable and had a great inbuilt sound system.

House? I’m perfectly happy where I live. I guess I’d make some improvements and build an extension for my record collection. I’d also pay someone to take care of the garden. (I love my garden, but I’d rather be relaxing in it with a few beers on the occasional sunny days we get, than having to slave away cutting the grass and weeding.)

A huge win would allow my wife and I to travel, I suppose – and spend a bit more time exploring India, a country we both love.

I think I’d be happy in the knowledge I was financially secure for life, and would be in a position to offer such security to family down the line. The various sports clubs I’m involved with would become beneficiaries too, as would some charities whose work and research I greatly admire.

And you know, that would be about it. How boring is that?! 😉

Oh yes – and I’d likely invest in the provision of a life’s supply of Empire Biscuits.

Now that would be like winning the Lottery!

🙂