Until just about a year ago, within an hour of awakening, I’d have been out either to the gym at my tennis club, or for a run through the nearby country lanes. The latter, especially, was a lovely, invigorating way to start the day.

Now though, it’s all changed.

The alarm will go off around 6:30 am. I’ll curse a couple of times, scratch my arse and stagger into the bathroom to do what’s necessary. I’ll take my phone and listen to the Radio 6 Music early show which, if Chris Hawkins is hosting, will lift my mood.

I shave my head, leaving a short mohawk hairstyle. The time this takes varies dependent on whether I’ve been flush enough to buy new razors or have to furiously run a blunt blade over my napper and terrorize the stubble into surrender.

This was a pure nightmare for the months I was on blood-thinning tablets. The bathroom looked like the set of a slasher B-movie.

I know the standard is to brush your teeth for a full two minutes, but, pressed for time, I justify only half of that based on a pro rata basis, and my partial dentures having soaked overnight in a mug of fizzing cleaner solution.

Back in the bedroom, I’ll dress and pop my meds, which during the winter months I do in the dark, so as not to waken my recently retired wife. I know – I make it sound like I’m so considerate. But truth is, I try all I can to avoid that rather sarcastic and smug, “Have a nice day, dear,” comment as she rolls over for another hour’s kip.

Time then to go waken our two cats from their slumber. I’ll walk the garden feeding the birds, then grab a quick coffee, open my laptop and curse again – this time at the ‘updates’ which happened overnight and are now slowing the system, preventing me jotting down some blog / book thoughts.

I’ll close the laptop. I’ll mumble a few more naughty words, grab a banana or biscuit and head out to car whilst praying the heap of rust will start and see me through my day’s work.

Good morning! It’s going to be a beautiful day!

😀

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