I approached the young woman at the counter of the perfume shop.
“Hi. I’m looking for an after-shave, please. Something small and cheap, I think.”
“So – something that reflects you and your personality, then?”

Her instinctive, instant and cheeky retort had me in stitches. She ensured a sale before I’d even tested any of the options she’d present. And I ended up spending way more than I had initially planned.

Fair play – she did have me sussed. I am cheap.

Or, as we argue here in Scotland, I’m thrifty.

See, we / I recognize the value of money. I’ve run my own little but successful Petcare business for seventeen years now. I’ve been told many, many times by my clients, my prices are too cheap.

I know this.

It was a conscious decision when I started, not to be seen to be ripping people off; to give value for money. If it meant I had to take on more bookings on a daily basis, and work harder that others who would charge more, then so be it.

But, ‘what job would you do for free?’ was the question posed.

Well, as a bloke from West of Scotland, instinctively I’d say: ‘play football for the football team I support.’

Then I think how much the other players in the team would be earning. Crazy money! Why should I volunteer to play for nothing and help them when they’re all swimming in banknotes?

And I know our lovely Inland Revenue would still try to tax me, even if I worked for nothing. (Just a little pointed remark there, based on an ongoing personal battle. 😉 )

So what would be the point?

Ok – I could happily work for an animal charity and not look for payment. I’d love to do some research field work on tigers in particular. In fact, I’d probably even pay for the privilege.

That’s not the way I read the question though; not with regard to charitable work, but what regular work would I do for free?

The answer to that is … none.

I may be small and cheap, but at least I know my value.

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter