I hate being asked questions to which there is no truly ‘correct’ answer.

For instance: I’ll bet I’m not the only bloke who dreads being asked this question by their partner:

“Does my bum look big in this?”

“No, dear,” I’ll say, “You look lovely.”

“But does my bum look big, though?”

“No, not at all.”

“Do you not think the way it hangs, the dress makes my back-side look fat?”

“No – it’s a perfect fit. Honestly.”

“It does though, doesn’t it? Look. Here. See? It does look too tight.”

“Ok,” I’ll say,checking my watch and realizing the taxi will be waiting, “Maybe it it’s a smidgeon close on the hips. But it looks fine. You look gorgeous.”

“Are you saying my bum looks big in this …??!!”

“Well … erm … what I mean is …”

“You think I’m fat!” Her voice trembles with emotion. Yours just tremble with regret.

“No. I … I … what I meant was … well, you …”

“Well! Thank you very much! All that money wasted on a beautiful dress and you hate it! I’ll just have to wear an old one … and now we’re going to be late. And it’s all your fault!”

Yes – THAT type of question.

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