AI is a wonderful thing. Look, for instance, at the image above. Created in seconds, with no copyright infringements to worry about, and the mood I’m in right now, 100% accurate.

It’s now ten years since I wrote my first book, ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee.‘ I did so mainly to prove to myself that I could, and to gain a little insight into the world of self-publishing. Over the following eight years, I produced another couple of short books, again for the purpose of gaining experience in writing style, editing, formatting, promotion and marketing.

Oh can it be that it was all so simple then?

Those books, though I say it myself, did all right sales wise. I mean, I had no aspirations of making the New York Times Bestseller list or anything. I had a minimal (almost non-existent) budget at my disposal for letting the world, or at least UK and USA, know of efforts.

But through a network of fellow bloggers and social media contacts, I managed. And it was fun, too. Chatting online to people who would scratch my back in exchange for my reciprocation. I made online friends of other aspiring authors, all writing purely for the joy of it, and of course gratefully accepting any royalties that fluttered down their way.

Oh can it be that it was all so simple then?

Well … yes it was.

And now it’s not.

Getting ‘A SPACE HOPPER KILLED MY HAMSTER … amusing tales of growing up in the ’60s & ’70s‘ in front of people who may be interested, is proving as successful as asking my cats to solve a Rubik’s cube puzzle.

It’s not that there’s any shortage of offers of help.

‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee had me grinning from the title alone — and kept me laughing through every unpredictable, muddy, utterly charming page. Your dry wit and sharp timing make even the most chaotic canine encounter a joy to read. It’s rare to find a voice that feels so natural and disarmingly honest. And the way you balance humor with heart? Spot on.’

‘Congratulations on your newest book and on such an inspiring creative journey! I recently came across your work, and your unique blend of humor, heart, and honesty immediately stood out. From Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee to A Space Hopper Killed My Hamster, your storytelling is not only engaging, but it truly resonates with readers.’

There you go – nice, eh? Who wouldn’t be delighted to have this type of message land in their inbox?

Me, that’s who.

You see, these are just two of the eighteen such messages I’ve received in the past three weeks, when I first started ‘collecting’ them. (Prior to that I’d been deleting, but then thought I should retain them for ease of spotting patterns etc.)

I even had one from a world renowned author of thrillers, whose work has been turned into films. She loved ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee’ in particular and if I wanted to chat about writing and humour … and dogs even, then I was just to e-mail her.

Aye, right. Did I wheech, as we say in these parts.

Instead, I undertook a few quick and basic checks.

Yup!

With AI now able to summarize our work in seconds, it’s now got to the stage I (and I’m sure most indie authors) don’t know who to trust any more.

I’m lucky – I’m from Glasgow. It’s in my DNA to be cynical and tight-fisted. I’m not likely to part with my money lightly. And much as I’d like my efforts to be widely read, I’m not doing this as a cash-raising exercise.

Of course, there’s Amazon Ads and Facebook Ads, both of which I believe DO help drive potential readers to an author’s work. However, having run with the Amazon ones for the past couple of weeks, I’m not convinced they’re the answer for the small-time, casual indie author like me. I’ve read a couple of books and several articles on the subject, but without the patience of a saint, a university degree and a pot of disposable cash, (and I have none of the three) it doesn’t look to be a viable option.

After paying away much more than I’ve earned in sales, Amazon Ads keeps beseeching me to adjust this, alter that, run a further comparison test etc etc … all the while still happily accepting my cash as I continue to fail in my quest.

Facebook Ads, I imagine to be much the same.

My initial intention was to approach the Facebook Groups that focus on the 1960s and 1970s. They have group members each numbering between 25k and 100k. Surely some of them would be interested in an amusing book dealing with those two decades?

Probably. But then the majority of thos FB Pages do not allow any advertising or promotion … I’ve approached them all!

A few do though, and I’m much obliged to them for allowing me to make the occasional post. However, these pages are so popular, that within an hour or so, any reference to ‘A SPACE HOPPER KILLED MY HAMSTER …’ has shuffled so far down the page any reader would need a shovel to dig it back up again.

Ah well. Nobody said it would be easy.

Maybe I should have called my latest book, ‘AI KILLED THE SPACE HOPPER THAT KILLED MY HAMSTER …’

Now there’s an idea.