Crocodiles don’t make good pets. Trust me – I was a Pet Professional.

Neither do elephants. At least not if you live in third floor tenement flat.

I hadn’t intended writing anything today which I’m sure would have been a blessed relief for some, but I happened to notice the WordPress prompt for the day: ‘What animals make the best / worst pets?’ I felt almost duty bound to put something down.

As some readers will know, I ran my own Petcare business for eighteen years, retiring in the autumn of 2024. It was wonderful job I found myself falling into through a combination of desperation and necessity. I’d spend up to eight hours a day outside, mainly in the surrounding countryside with a pack of up to six dogs for company.

I could bang on all day about those often wet, but mainly happy days picking up bag after bag of dog poo. But that’s not the point of this post, is it? And you can read of my adventures in my first book, Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee.

I looked after all types of household pets during those years. Before, and following the daily round of dog walks, I’d fit in visits to clients’ homes while they were on holiday or whatever, and take care of their: cats; rabbits; mice & rats; gerbils; hamsters; guinea pigs; parakeets; ducks; budgies; parrots; tortoises; chinchillas; tropical fish; pond fish; geckos, and bearded dragons.

I think that about covers it.

(Click on the images below to expand.)

But, what pet is ‘the best?’ It depends really on the time you can make available to properly care for it. I’d say that’s the first priority. That, and considering the potential financial strain of feeding and vet bills.

All the animals I cared for had defined characters, so all were good company if that would be your primary reason for offering a home to a pet. Even the bearded dragon, yes!

So, what is the ‘best’ and what is ‘the worst’ pet will depend very much on several variables.

From a personal family perspective, I can say that I wouldn’t have a dog. I love them, and they are so loving a loyal, they are hard not to like. But they are very tying. They need regular walks and company and that impinges on the owners’ social lives. So, not for me, I’m afraid.

We do have two cats that I’ve trained like dogs, though! They were tiny, abandoned, feral kittens, found in the middle of nowhere on a Scottish island, and came to us as six-week-old kittens. They are now five years old and come back to the house when I whistle for them. They obey the word ‘No’ and we have several key words we use to have them do certain things.

They are struggling however to make a decent cup of tea.

In the past, when our boys were young, we kept gerbils. We had them in a long aquarium tank which we packed with sawdust and wood chips. It was fascinating to watch them make their burrows and tunnels / separate food larder etc.

One of the boy also had a stick insect for a good while! Hmmn. Possibly not the most interesting pet, I have to say.

If pressed, I’d probably side with cats as being ‘the best’ pets to have. They are loving and loyal like dogs, but a lot more independent. They can be left in the home for a day or even two, with the automatic feeders, so the owners are not quite so tied.

‘The worst?’ Possibly guinea pigs. They are lovely. They are fun and ‘cheeky’ wee characters too. But they are basically just furry peeing machines! They pee and poop contantly and so their hutches take some amount of care and attention.

I’d probably lump rabbits in there also. Ideally a rabbit should have a companion, so that twice the amount of smelly hutch to clear out each day. And they can be bad tempered little b******s! They can pack a decent kick when their mood takes them and those teeth are quick to draw blood, believe me.

Actually, when I think of it, a crocodile is maybe not such a bad choice after all.

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